The Prank Letters of S. William Kost

Over the last ten years, I have written dozens of joke letters, sometimes under pseudonyms, to companies large and small in America and around the world. Many of these companies have written back.


Thursday, February 09, 2006

Kentucky Fried Chicken USA 3/19/96

S. William Kost
P.O. Box 598
Clackamas, OR 97015

March 19, 1996

Kentucky Fried Chicken USA
Attn: Director of Marketing
1441 Gardner Ln.
Louisville, KY 40213

Dear Director,

I have been a frequent patron of many of your fine Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurants. I especially enjoy oyur Colonel's Original Recipe chicken, featuring Eleven Herbs and Spices. What a treat!

There has been an item of concern, however, since the first day my dad, Fritz, and mother, Edith, took me to a "Speck" over 25 years ago. Your advertisements have claimed that your chicken is "Finger Lickin' Good". At the same time, you provide "Moist Towelettes" to clean the chicken stuff off of one's fingers. As a consumer, I would like to know why, if you advocate licking food off of one's fingers, do you contradict that position by sneaking in the alternative. I am perfectly happy with the "digit-mouth" method, and personally feel that if you eliminated the other option, you could save a bundle of money (not to mention moist trees).

I don't plan to stop visiting your restaurants because of this (25 years proves that!) but I would be interested to know how you would address this issue.

Many thanks for years of great chicken!

S. William Kost

P.S. How would I go about getting an autographed photo of Colonel Sanders?

Handwritten response, on my original letter:

Mr. Kost:

Thank you for many years of patronage and interest in our company. While the Colonel knew his recipe was indeed "Finger Lickin' Good", he also knew that the towlettes would provide a fresh clean feeling after a delicious KFC meal. The Colonel passed away in 1980 so we have no opportunity for an autographed picture, but I believe you will enjoy the enclosed material.

S. Topmiller

Note: Shirley Topmiller was Colonel Sanders' personal secretary.


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