The Prank Letters of S. William Kost

Over the last ten years, I have written dozens of joke letters, sometimes under pseudonyms, to companies large and small in America and around the world. Many of these companies have written back.


Friday, February 10, 2006

Butterfinger 4/17/96

S. William Kost
P.O. Box 598
Clackamas, OR 97015

April 17, 1996

Butterfinger Candy Bars
c/o Nestlé Food Company
Glendale, CA 91203

Dear Candy Makers,

I have liked Butterfinger candy bars for as long as I can remember! There hasn't been one little thing that has made me not want to pick one up at the store after work every day since July, 1989! (Except for lack of appetite, due to the fact that I unload trucks at a cloth-diaper service laundry center and things can get pretty rancid in there.)

In the last few years, I have become a bit concerned with the people who handle your advertising there at "Candy Bar Central". Your TV ads, which have features the humorous Bart Simpson, use a couple of words I don't understand. Now, I'm not the smartest guy in the world (1.34 GPA), but I can plainly tell when somebody's throwing around fake words to sell their candy bars.

In short, what do "crespety" and "crounchety" mean? I can't find them in any dictionary. Please clear this up soon.

A faithful eater,

S. William Kost

P.S. Do you have any custom printed Butterfinger T-shirts (XL) that you don't want? My brother Fritz collects them.

Dear Mr. Kost:

Thank you for writing us about Nestlé Butterfinger. We welcome questions and comments from our consumers regarding our products.

The phrase "crispety, crunchety, peanut-buttery" is used to describe the texture and taste of the Butterfinger bar. Although the words in this phrase are not defined by the dictionary, we felt that they were the best words to describe our product. We have reported your comments to our marketing department.

We appreciate your interest in our product.

Chris Cappiello
Senior Consumer Correspondent


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