The Prank Letters of S. William Kost

Over the last ten years, I have written dozens of joke letters, sometimes under pseudonyms, to companies large and small in America and around the world. Many of these companies have written back.

S. WILLIAM KOST

Monday, February 13, 2006

Parker Brothers 3/20/96


S. William Kost
P.O. Box 598
Clackamas, OR 97015

March 20, 1996

Parker Brothers Company
c/o Tonka Corporation
Attn: Product Development Coordinator
Beverly, MA 01915

Dear Coordinator,

Let me first say that I have enjoyed the countless hours I have spent playing your fine quality games over the years. I have definitely seen the results of the obvious hard work each and every one of you have put into the production of these American gems.

Recently, I was introduced to your game, Balderdash. I like the concept of a team of players guessing the correct definition of an unusual word. Not only is it a blast at parties, but it is very educational and beneficial for the enrichment of one's vocabulary. Three cheers for creating a game which, in stimulating the mind, is a fresh contrast to the brain numbing rubbish of video games our young people are addicted to today.

While playing this game with my sister, Annabelle, and her three sons, Oxford (19), Lucas (16) and Fritz (14), I have found myself surprisingly good at making up false definitions for the words you have provided. And this success has led me to create new words for new things I have newly defined (or redefined). It is for this reason that I would like to suggest to you new possibilities for words to be included in a future edition of Balderdash:

UNABLE: Not able.           UNCHEWED: Not chewed.   
UNAFRAID: Not afraid.       UNCLEAN: Not clean.
UNATTACHED: Not attached.   UNCOMMON: Not common.
UNAWARE: Not aware.         UNCONSCIOUS: Not conscious.
UNBALANCED: Not balanced.   UNCOOKED: Not cooked.
UNBROKEN: Not broken.       UNCOUNTED: Not counted.
UNBURNT: Not burnt.         UNCOVERED: Not covered.
UNCERTAIN: Not certain.     UNDECIDED: Not decided.

This is, believe it or not, only a small part of the list I've been making lately. If these words can be used in a future edition of Balderdash, I would be happy to sell you the rest of my list at $25-per-fifty words. Thanks again for years of fun!

Sincerely,

S. William Kost

P.S. Can you help me come up with a word meaning "not written"?


Dear Mr. Kost:

Thank you very much for your inquiry about submitting words for the BALDERDASH game.

While we appreciate your taking the time to write to us with your suggestion, you must realize that Parker Brothers is continually working on revisions to our existing games to improve appearance and play value.

Unfortunately, Parker Brothers cannot consider any suggestions which we receive with regard to existing games since such suggestions may conflict with ongoing development projects.

We appreciate your interest and send you our best wishes for continued enjoyment of Parker Brothers' games and toys.

Sincerely,
Evelyn Cuoco
Consumer Relations Administrator

1 Comments:

Blogger Nicole said...

Once again, you have me choking with laughter, literally. Silly me, I try to read your blogs at work. (Note to self: Always read Stan's blogs when there's no one around to see how ridiculous I look when I'm laughing hysterically.) I was reading this post yesterday, and I actually started choking from laughing so hard, while trying to look like I was sincerely involved in a very important project.

This one is my favorite, by the way.

3/02/2006 9:31 PM  

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