The Prank Letters of S. William Kost

Over the last ten years, I have written dozens of joke letters, sometimes under pseudonyms, to companies large and small in America and around the world. Many of these companies have written back.

S. WILLIAM KOST

Monday, February 27, 2006

Flents 9/19/96


S. William Kost
P.O. Box 598
Clackamas, OR 97015

September 19, 1996

Flents, Inc.
PO Box 2109
Norwalk, CT 06852

Dear Patch-makers,

A few days ago, I developed a case of pink-eye. It was a bit painful, as you may imagine, and I did what I thought was best to relieve the pain at the time. A friend suggested I block the light going into my eye by using an eye patch. So I bought one of those eye patches which your company made (Item #505). Now, since then, I have been to the doctor, and gotten treatment for my condition. But I'm not ready to retire the eye patch just yet. I plan to wear the patch as a fashion accessory; the "pirate look" has become popular for me since I started wearing the Flents Patch.

The reason I'm writing to you concerns the information printed in the back of the box in which the patch came. You inform the buyer (me) that "Flents offers a fine line" of other products. What I need to know is, do you offer any other pirate-type accessories, i.e. three-pointed hat, parrot, peg leg, etc.? I am anxious to enhance my already popular fashion statement, and an item like a hook-for-a-hand would be a fabulous "punctuation"!

Please let me know as soon as possible, so I have time to search other avenues before the trend shifts. Thank you, and keep up the good work!

Yo-ho-ho,

S. William Kost



Dear Mr. Kost:

Thank you for your letter of September 19, 1996 regarding our full line of products.

In response to your question about other accessories for the "pirate look", we are sorry but we do not carry those types of products.

Enclosed is our catalog showing our full line of products.

We are sorry that we can't help you further.

Cordially,
Sherri L. Cogswell
Customer Service

1 Comments:

Blogger Herry said...

Nice blog.............

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Flents

10/22/2009 4:50 AM  

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