The Prank Letters of S. William Kost

Over the last ten years, I have written dozens of joke letters, sometimes under pseudonyms, to companies large and small in America and around the world. Many of these companies have written back.


Monday, August 14, 2006

Timex 3/31/98

S. William Kost
P.O. Box 598
Clackamas, OR 97015

March 31, 1998

Watch Setting Dept.
Timex Corporation
Middlebury, CT 06762

Dear Timekeepers,

I recently heard a saying, that a man with one clock knows what time it is, but a man with two clocks is never sure. Political correctness notwithstanding (what about a woman with a clock?), I believe that the saying makes a good point. We never really know what time it is, do we?

It is for this reason that I write to you. When people ask me what time it is, I must tell them an estimate, because, I'm not sure how accurate my (Timex) watch really is. Not that your products are substandard; to the contrary, they are superior indeed. It's just that I don't know which clock I can set my watch to in order to assure synchronicity with the One True Time It Is. So I figures that, being the time experts that you are, you would be the highest authority I could turn to for the solution to my conundrum.

Could you, therefore, inform me as to what time it is there, and then I can set my watch to that time. I would really appreciate it.

Until Next Time,

S. William Kost

P.S. Please send an XL T-shirt, or a pen.

Dear S. William:

I'm not surprised by your letter. I often wonder how people who purchase highly accurate watches are able to set them to the correct time!!!

I can tell you the exact time as I write this letter. However, I don't think that will solve your problem. For information, watch evaluations performed by Timex require setting watches to the exact time. There is a phone number we call that provides the exact time. Our master watches are set to this time on a daily basis, (303) 499-7111.

Hopefully this will help you.

Thomas Drago
Supervisor Finished
Evaluation Department

Enclosure — Timex pen


Anonymous David Paul said...

Do you still have that pen?

2/12/2008 1:54 PM  

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